Well, apparently, if I have a good scan (no cancer, cancer on the run), the reward is more chemo. All those rounds popped up on my calendar for my convenience. MORE? I was under the impression that three rounds and we see what happens – then we decide what path to take – just like the last time.
I luckily went in and got to see the doctor. It’s the machinery in motion, schedules filed, and it surprised and freaked the heck out of me. The doctor was very patient and I understand the scenarios better.
I am living day-by-day hoping my cancer is getting whopped – putting up with needles in my arms, toxins being flushed through my body, no social life to speak of – so even if I get a good rating, I can opt for more chemo just to be sure….
Going from chemo to chemo round is not living. Now that I am calmed down – there are decisions to make – it’s so easy to be lured into ‘everything will be OK” = it might not and then what?
The light at the end of the tunnel just might be the train.