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I was thinking about my strings – memories tied to objects

In my house, in my life

My dragon egg that reminds me of reading bedtime stories

To my then young son

Of creating worlds he and I visited and remembered all our lives

Then of the tarot cards I love to read

And the collections of rocks – a remembrance of where I went

And had wonderful or painful times

I thought with all those strings tying me to the memories

They are also tying me to the past

A past where my son was alive

A past where I was young and hopeful

Wanting to do good in the world

And make a difference

A past where I was celebrated, not tolerated

And it made me realize those strings

Have become ropes

Ropes of love, but ropes also holding me back

From a future I could make

Maybe I’ve gotten tired of re-inventing myself

The past is what I knew

But I can’t stay there much longer

There’s not a lot of time left

And I still have some dreams – dreams of the future

I forgot was out there.

A future I had given up on because of my pain

My pain is still there, but I had a spark

Thwack me on the head while watching the ocean

I’m not ready yet

(To be continued)