I admit going into the oncologist’s office I had hope.  I am recovering well from the operation – that part went great – got the tumor, removed lymph nodes and biopsied them – yay! they were CLEAR!

Then comes the news that during the CT scan, they noticed some spots on my liver.  Well, lots of people have fatty livers and live their lives just fine.  I had the second CTscan and an MRI to find out what they were and see if they impacted my status of Stage 3, Grade 1b cancer – curable with treatment.

Shift to yesterday – results of the scans:

Well, some of those little cells DID go a’ traveling – the cancer cells waved hello to the CT Scan and the MRI technicians from my liver AND my lungs.  In comparing the two CT Scans – more lesions had shown up on both my lung and liver while I was healing – so while I was doing all I could to recover from the surgery – these little monsters went traveling with their bags packed looking for a new home.

My mind kinda went blank as I was hoping for a completely different outcome.  My treatment of Chemo now would be to DELAY the cancer, not to cure it. And Radiation is out (part of the cure part).  So now I am at Stage 3, Grade 4 cancer.   Demoted.

Without treatment, I have weeks or a month, the doctor said.  That’s all I heard for about five minutes.  Weeks.  Month.  Me?  Can I see that report?  Weeks.  Month.  When I started paying attention again, the doctor said with Chemo, I can add some time – no, he wouldn’t say the quantity or quality of the time.  My type of cancer responds well to treatment – hates Chemo.  There have been “good results” – again, no promise of how long I can add by doing this.  I’ve been raking my brain trying to figure out what to do – it’s a nightmare when the clock is ticking and your fear paralyzes any logical thinking in your brain.

(Oh, and they want to scan my brain also.)  Great.  I am leaning toward taking the Chemo if I can get some more time.  I’ll see how I tolerate the sessions and if they can show a result that the nasty cancer is on the run.

Stay tuned.