house4 008Guess he thought since I was busy with the cancer thing, I didn’t need distraction. I have tons of art stuff – just waiting for me to get an idea and gumption to do it.  I’ve even bought more stamps thinking that would inspire me – (One of my old tricks to buy supplies).  Nada.  I did use some of the new stamps to send some cards to my uncles.  They are still scratching their heads over the images of Teesha Moore.

I drew a cartoon the day I found out I had cancer.  I’ll post it once my scanner is fixed.  Basically, it’s an image of me driving my car with beads and paints falling out the back, my head is turned to a billboard that says, “…about the size of a plum…”  The car is about the plunge off a cliff while a crow watches from a branch sticking out of the cliff.  Weird, but honest on that day.  My doctor told me that how big the tumor was – about the size of a plum.  Must have been growing there for a while.  Anyhow, back to the art.

Then I painted an abstract of a glowing sparkly tumor with my “champion” coming to destroy it.  People didn’t get it, but I see it plainly.  When you have to explain your art, it loses something in the presentation.  But I like it.  Jury is still out whether it (tumor eater) is successful or not.

So where is my inspiration – maybe it’s tied to hope – which is low in my supply these days – the battle going on in my body robs me of a lot of energy and inspiration – can I finish this?  should I even buy supplies?  what happens to my supplies when I die?  what about my art?  big bonfire?  See how warped my mind goes when I let it loose?

So I need to look at each project as a step in the right direction – as it is today – not tomorrow.  I have my stamper tool Holder for acrylic stamps with guidelines and magnets and I am going to teach myself how to use it today.  I’ve been using unmounted stamps with my fingers – nasty and messy – so we’ll see if Tim Holtz knows what he’s talking about it.

Oh, and the hope thing?  It’s up and down like my mood – don’t worry – I’ve been through crap before – just gotta get my Xena thing going in between anti-nausea drugs and naps.

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