Had the last chemo for a while – three months I am guessing if the scan shows it’s come back.  I celebrated by going to Folsom’s Rainbow Bridge Jewelry shop and buying a copper bracelet I had my eye on for awhile – and it was 40% off!  Surprise!  We went to the Goodwill and found some treasures too – a nice ibex skull on a pedestal,  Not real, but it looks good.  I ate at a Jimboy’s Taco place for lunch – yummy taco veggie salad.  What a celebration!

Came home, watched some tv and went to bed – but had a restless night.  Too much planning going on in my head – but I jump the gun – I will still be recovering from this last chemo for several weeks.  My white blood count has to build back up, so I get impatient – wanting things to move along.

And then come the bad thoughts – is it coming back soon, or will I have some time?  What can I do to make sure it doesn’t come back – or is that even possible with an aggressive cancer like this.  All the stats say I don’t even have 5 years – let’s prove them wrong.  I have stuff to do, cancer dude.  So I try to leave these dark thoughts on the back burner, but sometimes they visit me at night where I am vulnerable.  I am hoping that the therapy can help – I go next week – then the two classes in Feb. might shed some light on moving my mind out of the dark place.

I lay in bed sometimes in the dark listening to my heart and lungs.  I think about what they are doing and encourage them to do good things.  I wonder what would happen it they suddenly would stop – not good thoughts, but it does keep me awake, so I must find something else to think about.

The sun is out today as it was yesterday.  It was so nice being in the car – it was warm and toasty.  Mike and Donna were with me – drugs were kicking in like they are supposed to (all prescription, don’t worry) – it’s all I can do to keep up with the doc’s pills and vitamin supplements.  I am hating taking pills – my gag reflex kicks in sometimes.  Well, off the library – taking advantage of the weather today (rain for the rest of the week) –  then home for a nap.

Just wanted to share my happy mood while it lasts!!  Haha!

Advertisements