Everything went well yesterday – I had the tube in my right arm. I tried drawing, but I kept pulling on the line, so I gave up drawing and turned on my Kindle. I watched the rest of Inception – the longest time shot of a van careening off a bridge EVER – but for a good reason. Really an excellent movie. Then is was Training Day with Denzel Washington – love the way he calls people, “Dog.”
Tomorrow I have company – my Uncle Ed is being brought up from Lakewood by his son, Ed, to visit with me. I hope he’s not too scared at my appearance. Ah, well, it’s not my facade he is coming to see.
I was touched yesterday by how many people come to chemo alone and with nothing to do. One business woman brought her laptop and worked the entire time typing. She had headphones, so maybe she was listening to music while she worked. She had wonderful long hair and stylish-expensive looking clothes and shoes. She didn’t smile as she looked at me – probably didn’t even SEE me.
Another woman was calling for the nurse all the time – her shoe fell off, she needed another blanket, she felt bad (good reason to call the nurse) – she tried using her phone, but no one answered her calls – she seemed so lonely. You know how you want to reach out, but you know it’s more than you can handle at the time – well, that was me – she kept looking at me – not starting any conversation, but waiting for me – and I couldn’t. It just didn’t seem like a good idea.
Another woman came in and she was alone also. Mike said he felt bad – she kept looking over at us – I have two visitors – Mike was reading and so was Donna. And she was alone and doing nothing but staring around the room.
There are people who have visitors come with them. Older couples and some women friends or sisters. Wonder how it all works out. If companionship helps or hinders? Hinders because the patient is trying to please the companions? Being alone lets you set your own course – but being alone is not a picnic. I don’t know what I would do without “my team” or friends to check in – they mean so much to me.
Well, Day 3 is about to begin. Wish me luck, my dragons!